i know i keep posting

this is my 4th post in the last couple of minutes, but i want them to be seperate

today i was thinking. a good friend of mine was talking about going skiing. (you know going on a ski trip, like nearly half of the americans that can afford it do EVERY STINKIN YEAR) i was thinking about how vacations like that seem so insipid (my favorite word, if you don't know it, look it up) I mean, doesn't someone want to spend that crazy amount of money that they spend on something worthwhile. that won't last a couple of days and then just be pictures, a pulled hamstring, and a fight that gets bigger as you are leaving because you are, in fact, leaving. i want more than life that this. i want to go all over the world (and all over the US) and skiing is so wonderful, but it sounds so petty right now. blah.

i need prayers for guidence. sometimes i think i love to much. is that possible?

there are things that happen in my life that make me think im special. i get feelings about things that i know to be true, and then they do happen. i will bring subjects up when i walk into church, and the ministers will say, well umm, thats just what i was planning on talking about today. this can get to you. also, i will lay in bed and think to myself, someone is going to knock on the door, so i should just stay awake (not expecting anyone) and then 15 min later or so, knock knock. strange. a

nyway, i really want to help people. i want to love people. sometimes i think i get confused about my feelings of love and decide to let hate out, or just some form of whatever. i really needed to be around people full of love, and the soldiers here have trouble with that. the guys think you are hitting on them, and turn it another way, and the girls just push you away. there aren't many girls here i'm really close to anyway.

so i will now quit ranting, for the day, and continue on my work pattern of finding something to do for the next 3 hours!

much love ::muah::